How long am i suppose to wait
by kiku-chan-89
Summary: Cloud has been looking at Sephiroth for a long time now, but was it right for him to approach Sephiroth? Or would he be better off by hiding his feelings and just be Sephiroth's friend? AU SephyxCloud
1. Chapter 1

Title: How Long Am I Suppose To Wait

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Final Fantasy VII characters but I do own the plot

Reviews: Of course please

Author's Note: I am basing this story on an experience, so I hope you all will enjoy this . This fic is dedicated to Hii-chan and I hope ya enjoy it!

I have been looking at him for a long time now, not only that but also longing for him and wanting him, but the fear of being rejected is always there.

Sephiroth, the most popular guy in class with the most beautiful silky silvery hair that makes any girl's heart flutter at the sight of his smile. But those smiles were only to girls, and not to another boy like me, especially me.

Perhaps he did not even know that I existed. Or did he even bother to take even the slightest notice of me? I could not answer those questions, but oh how I long just to be with him. How I long so much that I even made a fool of myself, such an act that no sane person on earth would ever want to face the world again.

But I plucked my courage and still went back to school after a lot of convincing from a few close friends on mine. They knew about the person, who I had fallen, but they told me it was impossible after what he had even done to me, I still had the heart to shower him with love.

I could still remember what happened on that very day. How I could never forget how much tears of sorrow I shed on that very night which I finally am able to be rid myself of such an agony. But, things did not turn out the way I wanted them to be. 

"Anou, Sephiroth-san, I was wondering if you had time to spare. Perhaps maybe after school?" I asked trying hard not to allow blood to rush into the vein of my cheeks, turning them hot and pinkish.

He smiled and looked down at me. Sephiroth was indeed much taller than me, but what caught my attention, was not only his hair but also his eyes. No one had such eyes like he does. Eyes that were filled with sorrow, fear and distrust, shone in those crystal clear orbs.

"Aa. I'll see you after school by the gate?" Sephiroth said.

His sudden speech broke me from my daze and brought me back to reality. I quickly nodded in contentment and left for my next class.

Time crawled as I waited for the hour to come. An adrenal rush made me anxious about the meeting, making me fidget around in my seat and not pay attention in class other than to the sluggish passing of the seconds.

It was centauries to me by the time it had reached the end of school and I ran as fast as I could, not wanting to make Sephiroth wait for a single second. But it seems that I was wrong for when I reached there, Sephiroth was already there, facing the school garden and allowing the wind to blow his silvery locks with such grace and beauty. I was mesmerized by the sight of the beauty and stood there stunned, enjoying the view until he turned around and our eyes met.

He smiled at me and motioned me to come closer. I gulped and walked closer to him, and to me surprise I found it rather easy to speak with him. Of course I did my part on beating around the bush, and it was only until we reached the nearby park did I finally found the courage to tell him.

"Ne Sephiroth-kun, do you…um…like have anyone in mind?" I finally managed to ask while looking down at the ground, not wanting to face him, and it seemed as if the question hit the spot for I could have sworn I saw Sephiroth flinch a little before turning to me.

"No." He replied while stooping dead in his tracks under the shade of the tree, which made his eyes glow in their beauty.

"Eh? Demo…Sephiroth-san is so popular in school and around the girls. Surely there is one which you fancy ne?"

"Aa…I am considering someone at the moment. Though it is not really a she, but a he…"

That caught me odd guard for a moment and caused me to trip by the pavement, landing in the arms of Sephiroth. I could have sworn I was blushing from head to toe, making myself like a red tomato. "Eh? You mean you don't fancy girls?"

He sighed, helping me up before replying, "I had a bad experience in the past relationship which I had, and at the moment I do not know whether I even want to start another."

That was it. It raised my hopes so much that after a week I asked to meet him again, which he gladly said yes. I had in mind that since Sephiroth liked another guy, it could even be me, plus since he said he was considering someone, it meant that I still had a chance ne?

Oh but how was I a fool to think that he would actually accept someone like me when he had so many others to choose from. But what made my hopes sore sky high was that within the week I heard much gossip that the Sephiroth had actually fallen for someone like me. I could not believe my ears at first but it definitely gave me a sense of security and I took shelter under those words.

We met at the park by an empty bench and this time I did not hesitate to tell him the truth. "Ne Sephiroth-san…I have something to tell you, but please do not be offended ok?"

It was only after he promised me that he would not be angry that I finally told him.

Looking at him straight in the eye, I finally managed to utter those words that I long to tell him after so long. "Aishiteru Sephiroth-san." But all I could see in those orbs were nothing but a heart as cold as stone.

He smiled a cold smile at me, not the warm one that he gladly showed me when I spoke to him at first.

"I'm sorry." That was all he said before leaving me alone, cold and lonely by the bench.

Those were the only words that I needed to hear that he did not want me, and the once warm feeling, which used to burn with passion in my heart was now gone. All that is left is the pain feeling of a thousand needles piercing my heart and slicing into the pieces that those words had done.

I cried for a long time till my eyes were swollen, shedding tears of sorrow and tears of anguish, and it took great effort from my close friends to pull me out of the slumps. But that did not ease the pain that throbbed in my heart.

I had missed a whole week of school by the time I had recovered enough for me to think straight, and upon returning, I tried my best to avoid Sephiroth, not wanting him to feel weird cause of my presence. Tifa and Aeries did their best to console me and did not question my movement in school on how I was avoiding Sephiroth.

It pains me just by doing so, but what else can I do? I don't know. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day. I hope.

Now I am just another nobody in school, and Sephiroth did not seem to even notice me anymore after what happened. I wish I did not confess to him. At least I could be his friend and stay close to him. But what is done cannot be undone.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: How Long Am I Suppose To Wait

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Final Fantasy VII characters but I do own the plot

Reviews: Of course please

Author's Note: I am basing this story on an experience, so I hope you all will enjoy this . This fic is dedicated to Hii-chan and I hope ya enjoy it!

The days past and we drifted further and further, till the day when our results of our year end exams were released. I was satisfied with my own result, but being one of the first to be able to get my results, I went home to register quickly myself in the university that I would go into through the internet as the sever can only serve 4800 people at one go. Since most people are still comparing results, I decided this is the best time to register since there will be little people using the service.

But what I did not notice was how sad his eyes were while on the way home. The disappointed look on his face though he tries to hide it, telling everyone that he is fine.

I was contented with my results and then thus decided that this would also be a good time to chat since there are so many courses to choose from. I dialed the number, but the reply I got was not what I expected. It seems that Sephiroth had switched off his cell phone. I told myself perhaps it was out of battery and he was charging.

But I called him day after day, and still the same thing. I sent him many messages but they were never replied. I waited and waited, while my heart was being sliced and shattered into many more pieces. His cell phone was the only source of contact I had with him. That is until Aeries managed to snag his home number from one of his friends.

She told me not to call him at for the time being, reason being that he did not do as well as he expected. Why did he not do well I still did not understand. I wondered why. Sephiroth had always been good in both academics and sports, but why did it end up like this? Aeries and I sat by the school garden. I could hear her voice utter word after word, but I did not listen to any of them, for the only thing in my head was why did he not fare well. What happened that caused this.

I finally got my answer when Aeries said that she knew what caused this, and it had something to do with the past year.

"Ne Cloud, you do know that we sat for a two year course ne? Meaning that if you do not pay attention during the first year, there is a chance that you will not do well," Aeries said, while turning to look at me. Her face was full of concern as if she did not know whether to continue or not.

I nodded in agreement.

She sighed before continuing, "Well for us, we had no distractions during the first year nor the second, but in the case for Sephiroth, he had…" She trailed off turning away. I was confused now. What she meant by he had something we did not have? What was this distraction that could have caused him to do so badly? What was it? Could it be due to this same distraction lead to his reaction when I confessed to him?

I placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her an encouraging squeeze, wanting her to continue.

It took her a while before she finally decided that it would be best for me to hear the whole story and continued. "A year ago, Sephiroth had a girlfriend, which was only known to his close friends. But apparently this girlfriend was also the cause of his downfall…" She bit her lips, turning away from me as if to tell me that I have heard enough. But I have not. I want to understand Sephiroth more. I wanted to share his sorrow, his happiness.

Looking at me now, I guess she could tell what I wanted to know.

"That girl though she was in the same year as us, since being attached to Sephiroth, she wanted him to go out with him almost everyday, making him tired. Adding on was our daily homework load, and by the time he finishes them, it was in the wee hours of the morning. This made him even more drained out. Plus the lacking of sleep affected his attitude in class, making him unable to concentrate."

At that moment I could feel anger flowing through every call in my body. I was burning with rage. How could anyone be so selfish? How could she not worry about Sephiroth and treat him like her servant? This was not love at all!

"Since then he was not even able to do well in sports, plus last year due to his plunging results, he almost got retained. But I heard that after a while, Sephiroth knew that it was wrong and that he had to concentrate and buck up on his studies. Thus he broke up with his girlfriend. But it did not ended there, since that girl was furious, she made it into a very big thing, and made use of the fact that Sephiroth was also the school's head prefect. This made Sephiroth loose a lot of his pride and it took him a long time to recover."

My hands were shivering. This was far worse then what I imagined. How could I be so insensible to Sephiroth's feelings? I hated myself for bring such a selfish fool!

"As far as I heard, now Sephiroth is doing fine but I guess that experience had left an very deep impression on him and that it would be a long time before he will come out of his turtle shell."

Hate built inside me, making my whole body tremble. Aeries finally finished her story by now and noticed rage burning from within me. "Cloud?" Aeries finally asked, her voice containing nothing but concern.

"I-I'm alright, I-I just need some time alone"

With that I left her in the garden, stunned and shocked. As for me, I could only head home, trying to cool down the anger that boiled from within. I lay on my bed thinking. Perhaps he would come out to face the world again. For now all I can do I just to be there for him, and to encourage him to come out of his hiding. Hopefully by then, he would accept me. I will wait for you.


End file.
